7 reasons not to  mess with children

 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a  human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was  very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten  teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were  drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.  As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked  what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher  paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without  missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They  will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten  Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the  commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there  a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"  Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)  answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little  girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen  sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white  hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her  mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,  Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong  and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little  girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma,  how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had  all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each  to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to  look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's  a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the  back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's  dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the  blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I  stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I  would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it  that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood  doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet  ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a  Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a  large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple  tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch  line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip  cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is  watching the apples.